Advice (2)
Anger management is an industry that’s thriving in many of the so-called “civilized” countries. Techniques, classes, workshops, certified trainers and their programs, all these account for a big part of what we usually call the self-growth industry. It’s already a trend that companies pay for anger management programs for their employees. Did you know that there are more than half million monthly searches in Google for anger management and for other related terms such as anger classes, anger control, anger issues, anger help, depression anger, dealing with anger, anger counseling or anger techniques?
So many people are seeking for solutions and yet, there are so many angry individuals in almost every imaginable situation. So, your boss wants you calm, your spouse wants you calm, your kids want you calm, the other drivers in traffic want you calm… but are they free from anger themselves? At your turn, you probably want everybody else calm. You think that this will make your anger disappear. This is briefly how everybody gets frustrated because the rest of the world is not behaving the way it should. But since there are so many humans on the planet, who defines which is the way we should behave? Who makes the rules? We don’t even have the same God all over the world, so who’s going to be the supreme judge in this respect? If you don’t know how to control anger, despite your wish to do it, bear with us for a moment and try to figure out this life fact:
In the fall, leaves in trees turn yellow and fall
So, you have a big tree in front of your house, and each fall you watch its leaves going yellow and falling off on the ground. It’s just they way the tree’s nature is, to shed all leaves for the winter and get new buds and young leaves every spring. Are you going angry about that? Why don’t you get mad? You know you should, because you’re the one who has to sweep all those dry leaves each day during one full month, year after year. It’s not fair for the tree to treat you like that! After all, you’re the one who takes care of the tree, you trim it carefully, you water it, you protect it against bugs and diseases… the tree should be grateful and not make you spend so much time sweeping leaves. How angry are you about that? Grrrrrr…
If your honest answer is “I’m angry”, then how does your anger change the tree’s behavior? Is the tree struggling to keep his leaves on the branches for as long as possible, only to avoid upsetting you, the almighty protector of trees in your courtyard? If your tree did that, you’d probably better be looking for a tree psychotherapist, because something is rotten in there. But most probably, your tree couldn’t care less about your anger: if the leaves need to fall, so they will, regardless your opinion on that. So, if by now you tend to agree that getting angry on the poor tree for behaving naturally is a non-sense, why then would you get angry on your child because he wants to do things his own way, which is not always yours? Why would you get angry on your colleague being too slow to keep pace with you? Or why getting furious and swearing when you meet a clumsy driver in traffic? Like leaves fall from a reason, the clumsy driver could behave like that for a reason. Maybe he’s just suffering from a heart attack and losing control of the wheel that very moment. Would you still be angry if you knew that? Probably not.
Do you see what I’ve just done with you? Do you see that anger is only in your mind? External conditions are just food for your mind to develop the rage and make your heart beat faster. You don’t need any anger management techniques. All you need is to catch that moment before anger takes over your mind and acknowledge that what others do is beyond your control. You can only control how you react to their actions. It’s in your power to choose getting worn out because of anger attacks day after day, or trying to find creative solutions to resolve situations that you may perceive as being unpleasant. Next time you’re in your car, in a traffic jam, on a terrible rain, instead of getting angry, try to think of something else for a change: think of how lucky you are to be inside your car, waiting for the other cars to move on, instead of being one of those poor walkers, with their umbrellas torn out by the strong wind, wiped all over their bodies by the merciless rain, and horned and sworn by drivers like you, for not being able to cross the road faster. You don’t have to believe my words. Just remember to try this next time you feel like getting angry, then come back here and tell me if this wasn’t the best anger management technique ever.
Most of us who live in a big city have a certain amount of fear of being attacked. Every day when we watch the news there appears to be some report of someone being mugged, stabbed or shot. It's very scary to see these images and as a result many people are looking for self defense techniques and products.
First of all you need to try and keep away from situations where you might be attacked. There are many common sense tips that you can follow. Don't go out late at night on your own and if you see anyone you feel is acting suspicious and is making you feel uncomfortable then you should try and get away from them.
If someone is demanding you hand over your wallet, cell phone or anything else like that you should simply give it to them. Fifty bucks isn't worth risking your life over. So many people put up a fight and end up losing their life. It's not just you that suffers but also your friends and family.
If you are being attacked by someone with a gun and you see that the trigger is about to be pulled then this is the occasion where you should act. Basically you will put your hands up in the air as if to say “I surrender” then you hit their hand away from their body. Be ready to hear the gun fire. There are different techniques you can use after that such as kicking the attacker in the groin, knee and punching then in the neck.
Some people feel that the best way to protect themselves is with a gun however there are major problems with this. Firstly, the weapon could be used against you in a tussle. Also, you might accidentally kill an innocent bystander. Remember when you shoot someone, the bullet will normally go straight through them and could end up killing someone in the process.
There are other self-defense weapons that are designed to hurt rather than kill. These are probably better options however they are not legal everywhere so you need to research the laws where you live.
Pepper Sprays - These contain oleoresin capsicum which is great at disabling an attacker for about twenty minutes or so. If you spray into the eyes the attacker will feel as if their eyes are on fire. It's certainly not a pleasant experience but won't cause any lasting damage.
Tasers and Stun Guns - Both of these devices are designed to put out electricity that will allow you to get away from your attacker. They are very similar products however there are some major differences. Some people will say that a taser is best because you can use it at a distance but with a stun gun you need to have direct contact. However tasers are a bit bigger and more difficult to conceal than a stun gun plus they are more expensive.
Martial Arts - A lot of people take up a variety of different martial arts in hope that it will help allow them to defend themselves. The problem is that martial arts have been created for the purpose of sport rather than self-defense so isn't perfect. Although you should look at doing mixed martial arts which includes Muay Tha, Tea Kwondo and Jujitsu.
Finding the best way to defend yourself against an attacker is not something you should rush into. There are many pitfalls with each method and there is no one best solution. You could get into a lot of trouble if you try and defend yourself with a weapon you don't understand how to use.